How to Teach Sixth Grade Health with No Materials, No Curriculum, and No License

This year, I got stuck teaching a sixth grade health class. “But, wait, Miss Eyre,” you might ask, “aren’t you a secondary ELA teacher?” Why, yes, I am. How kind of you to remember. But I got stuck teaching a sixth grade health class. Why? Why not!

New York State is willing to tell your average unlicensed teacher very little about how to teach sixth grade health. You can look here to see exactly how much they tell you, which seems like a lot, but they don’t actually tell you which grade should do what. There isn’t a standardized exam; on one hand, thank God, but on the other hand, at least that gives you some direction.

Perhaps your school has textbooks or workbooks for health? Mine does not. Last year, two different teachers taught this sixth grade health class, both using a fifth grade textbook. Well, it was something, so I borrowed the textbook. I cobbled together a unit on drugs and alcohol, which seemed like an uncontroversial and straightforward way to start the year. Everyone agrees that sixth graders should not drink or do drugs.

Next, I assembled a unit on families and being a responsible family member. We even did a rather timely lesson about a family in which money was tight and the older brother in the family had to give up playing basketball to babysit the younger brother. That unit seemed played out after a month, though.

“Miss Eyre, I’m disappointed in you,” you might interject here. “Even if you are not licensed to teach this grade or this subject, shouldn’t you have mapped out SOME kind of curriculum over the summer?”

Why, yes, that would be the sensible approach to take. Except that I was informed three days before school started that I would be teaching this class. Oops!

In the absence of a textbook or a curriculum, I decided to visit the sixth grade homeroom teachers and ask them what they noticed in their students and what they thought might be helpful or appropriate. “Personal care,” one of them informed me promptly. “They smell.”

All right, I decided, I could teach that. I Googled some stuff, only to find that “personal care” for sixth graders is inextricably entwined with, well, puberty, and puberty is entwined with, well…you know. In my efforts to avoid controversy, I had run up against a brick wall. We have some…sensitive parents at my school, and without written permission to teach their darlings about genitals and so forth, I hesitated. I was told that I would, finally, get a curriculum in the spring, when a young man’s fancy turns to love and the DOE turns to…THE HIV CURRICULUM. [cue ominous music] At this point, the parents would sign permission slips for their little cupcakes to be in, or not be in, the classroom when the squishy bits get mentioned. But until then, I was on my own.

What, then, to do, while the sixth graders became ever more pungent? I thought quickly. I found an “anticipation guide” in the textbook that was G-rated. I excerpted a kid-friendly article online to make it also G-rated. And, because kids are quicker thinkers than we ever give them credit for, I devised a system for asking questions, which I debuted last week.

“Okay,” I said to the sixth graders, “here are some little slips of paper.” [Pass out slips of paper.] “When you complete the anticipation guide, you may find that you have some questions about this word, ‘puberty.’ You can write your question on this paper, and put your name on it. If I think your question is appropriate for class, I’ll answer it in front of the class, but I won’t use your name. If I think it isn’t, I’ll give your question back to you and ask you to talk about it with your family.”

So far it is working pretty well. I’ve already gotten asked “how a man and a woman come together and make a baby,” a question that is definitely more appropriate for “family” discussion. We’ve talked about why rubbing soap under your armpits is not an effective substitute for deodorant. We’ve talked about how to answer your parents when they ask why you are so moody. We’ve carefully defined “puberty,” “hormones,” and “acne.” We’ve talked about why boys start to “see girls differently” in fifth or sixth grade.

I think I’ve safely avoided controversy so far. Time will tell. And I know one thing about teaching sixth grade health, for sure: Avoid teaching it at all costs.

Frequent Collaborative Communication

S is in Class B, a class I haven't told y'all about yet. Weirdly in this day and age, my classes are somewhat "tracked" at the Morton School. Last year's Class A, for example, saw almost half of its students offered slots at a specialized high school. Class B, well...let's just politely say, "Not so much." This year's Class B is a little better in all respects: better-behaved, more hard-working, and probably more potential, in my extremely humble opinion. But I have a few extremely problematic students in Class B this year, and S is one of them.

Honestly, S is a nice kid. He has more challenges than any kid his age ought to have. He's being raised by a relative who is not a parent, this after he was given up by his biological parents to begin with. He's dealing with mental illness and learning disabilities at the same time. I try to be extra-patient with S because I imagine that just coming to school every day is tough for him. But my well of patience with S ran so low this week that I'm not even sure that a three-day weekend will restore it.

Both classes had a project due over the holiday break. We started the project together in class around the second week of December. They did peer review, handed in a rough draft to me which I commented on and returned to them, and were able to e-mail me over the break if they had any extra questions. This seemed like an appropriate amount of "scaffolding," if you will, so that the students could be successful. S was one of a handful of students who did not hand in the project, even after the grace period of three days (with points taken off) that allow for late projects.

I gathered these students together and reminded them that this was a major grade for this marking period. I informed them that, in light of this, I would offer them another chance to submit the project. Most of them did, but S did not.

Obviously the next step was to contact S's guardian. I had a lengthy conversation with this individual. The guardian asked if I might be able to offer S some extra credit, which I declined to do; I do not offer extra credit, generally, and when I do, I offer it to everyone in the class. But I did say I would accept the project the following day should S's guardian care to have a serious discussion with S about the situation. This individual promised that that would be done.

Next day: S did not submit the project. I began to prepare some documentation of S's situation to send home.

Day after that: Class B was taking their biweekly vocabulary quiz. As I walked around the room, I noticed that S appeared to be working at the same pace as the student seated across from him. Although S had not done his vocabulary homework, he had the first five questions correct. He also made the same spelling mistake as the student seated across from him. He answered the sixth question just after the student across from him did after a period of struggling. At that point, I reseated S, quietly and privately, to conclude the quiz. When I collected the papers, S had answered thirteen of the last fifteen questions wrong.

So I called S's home again. I had another conversation with S's guardian. I informed this person that I would no longer accept the project. I related the incident about the vocabulary quiz. I wasn't sure what else to say. I was so disappointed that S would have cheated. I sent home a letter along with another copy of S's progress report (he "lost" the first one) and a packet of work he could do over the weekend to practice for the ELA.

I'm at my wit's end with this child, so much so that I don't even know how to end this post. So I'll just stop here and say that I'm...discouraged.